what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
