let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
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