I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
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who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
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At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
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