you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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