Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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