i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
