I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
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He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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