I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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