we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
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