I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
