Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
