Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
