You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
