Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize