the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
