the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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