So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
