Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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