Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
