So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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