My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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