its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Two words: blizzard sex
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
