I looked at my own cervix.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
