I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So gin and wine won't be happening again
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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