It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
