His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
