Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
