shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.