im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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