just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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