I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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