windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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