I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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