You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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