I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
