nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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