She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
