glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize