idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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