So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
