And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
