WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
