u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
