I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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