just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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