The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
