peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
