I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
