just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
only if we run a train.
done.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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