I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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