Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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