you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She bit a glass in half.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
