im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
PANTIES FOUND
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