I think i peed on brittanys purse
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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