By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
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I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
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Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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