so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
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I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
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How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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