things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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